Blood Trail to Naked Cop

I was living in an illegal deathtrap of a basement suite around 5 years ago. It was close to my work, and the price was right, so I was willing to put up with a lot of stuff. For $300. a month, I was willing to put up with a whole lot of stuff. The worst part was having shared laundry facilities in my suite. It meant that the door adjoining the suites was usually unlocked. I started work early back then, and the upstairs usually was still using the dryer when I went to bed so I left it unlocked, and told them to please shut the door when they got there laundry…they never remembered. This one night I went to bed early again, closed my door, put in the earplugs, and drifted of to never never land. The next morning I woke up and went to use the bathroom. The door was was left wide open....again. I went to close it when I noticed blood on the floor. I glanced to the front door, It was ajar. Blood leading from the front door, across their white carpet and into my suite. I was a first aid attendant, and my first though was not Danger Will Robinson, but an accusatory..how could I sleep through a medical emergency. I followed the blood trail to my bathroom. Blood all over the floor, and none anywhere else. The I noticed the toilet seat was left up. I then followed the blood trail out of the bathroom and down the hall to the living/dining room. That door was shut. That door was never shut. The only heating available in the entire basement was from a baseboard heater in that room. I went back to my room and grabbed a lacrosse stick from my golf bag and head back to the door. I slowly opened the door. The lights were off....again something I never did, as I wanted to jack up the utilities bill cause I was angry at my landlord. I turned on the lights and glanced in the room.

NAKED GUY ON MY COACH.

I turned off the lights and closed the door. I am now in full out freak out mood. I am usually pretty good about weirdness happening around me....but not in my FREAKIN HOME.

That when I realized that my landlord upstairs was an RCMP officer. Yes the Mountie was renting an illegal deathtrap suite. I decided I'd let him deal with it. I left a hastily scribed note on the stairs, went outside and rang the door bell about 50 times, and then left for work.

I got to work and went straight to my boss and had a conversation something like this

Colleen: Betty, naked guy....coach....freaking out.....blood trail......must move.....today

Betty: ooooohhhhhKAaaay

Colleen: I leave now

Betty : bye bye

So I drive back to my suite, and the Mountie is coming out of the house with this dude laughing like nothing was wrong. He explained that this guy was his former RCMP partner, and he still had a key to the house, and thought he'd be a nice guy and not wake up the house when he staggered there from a local bar. Apparently he had cut his foot on metal debris outback when he use the hot tub, and didn't realize he had bled allover the place.

I said I don't care, I'm moving out today, and I wanted that months rent back and my damage deposit.

He said no

I said I had taken pictures of the blood trail leading naked cop, and wouldn't the media have a field day with this story....especially the angle about the cop breaking the law with an illegal suite.

He said that was extortion or some such nonsense

I agreed

I got my money